Growing Up a Woman

“Mommy, I don’t want to grow up.” These words may be more significant than we might at first imagine when coming from a small girl. A professor in a recent class on women’s issues asked, “are our daughters excited to become women?” What a question! I think back on my childhood—most of which I spent trying to be more like my father. Why? Not because I didn’t love my mother, but I didn’t see other people giving the type of praise to her that I was sure my father received at his job, or through the education he received. My mom called me “daddy’s girl” because of that. Interestingly enough, it is only after I have reached adulthood that I realized why I acted the way I did. I did not want to grow up to be a woman—I wanted to grow up to be a man! I wanted to do “man” things like learn, work, and express myself this way (and when I say “man” I am of course referring to the culture that makes these things inherently masculine). It all comes down to the value we put on woman’s bodies, roles, and the gendered stereotypes that surround us daily. I never wanted to be “ditzy,” I wanted to be intelligent. I didn’t want to be a baby maker, but instead, a money maker. I wanted to be known, praised, and powerful! Now that I have had a chance to evaluate life I do see the importance of making a woman’s role less invisible and more public. Why? So that our daughters are excited to become mothers—so they see the worth of being a woman. In a real way (as opposed to superficially praising womanhood and the sacrifices that come through being a mother), we need to truly make those things worthwhile in senses other than feelings you’ll receive in return: “You’ll feel good if you have children—greater joy comes from this than anything else!” Girls need to see that, they need to see their mothers AND fathers finding joy in womanhood—not just talking about it. They need to see women finding joy in their bodies so that they respect instead of destroy their bodies. It is, after all, through examples that we learn.